Walt Flanagan: The Most Fascinating Coach in the World (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/andy_staples/09/02/gene-chizik/index.html?eref=sihp) begins his Auburn head coaching career versus La. Tech and one-time coaching candidate, Vince Dooley's son. The Bulldogs keep this close for a half before Auburn pulls away...37-17.
Morris Fenderbaum: Auburn 49 - La. Tech 24
Mickey Goldmill: I’m scared to watch. Seriously. If this Chris Todd experiment doesn’t work, it could mean another long season. Something tells me he’ll be fine. Auburn 30 – La Tech 17
Virginia Tech (+6.5) vs. SPUAT in Atlanta
Walt Flanagan: Julio Jones & Mark Ingram are "off the hook" so to speak with the NCAA and Saban's NCAA leash gets a little longer...SPUAT 24 - Virginia Tech 14
Morris Fenderbaum: SPUAT 17 - Virginia Tech 13
Mickey Goldmill: Cheatin’ bastards 24 – Hokies 21
South Carolina (+5.5) @ NC State
Walt Flanagan: It's the beginning of the end for Steve Spurrier's propped-up corpse...NC State 24 - South Carolina 14
Morris Fenderbaum: South Carolina 23 - NC State 20 CANNONBAAAAALLLLL!!!!!
Mickey Goldmill: The question of the year for Gamecock fans is will Garcia be the quarterback SOS needs to deliver a winner. Mickey is skeptical. SC covers but loses. NC State 30 – USC 28
Georgia (+5.5) @ Oklahoma State
Walt Flanagan: I may have picked Ok. State to win in the CFN post but I've changed my mind. Ok. State won't be able to handle the pressure that has built up over the offseason....Georgia 35 - Oklahoma State 31
Morris Fenderbaum: Oklahoma State 38 - Georgia 31
Mickey Goldmill: Joe Cox struggles in his first attempt on the big stage. OK State 24 – UGA 14. This just in: Mike Gundy is in fact, not a man. He was born with vagesticles smaller than Joe Cox.
Kentucky (-15) @ Miami (OH)
Walt Flanagan: yet another road opener for the SEC. Scared say scared...Kentucky 31 - Miami (OH) 14
Morris Fenderbaum: Kentucky 38 - Miami (OH) 17
Mickey Goldmill: Snot Bubbles. UK 24 - Miami (OH) 7
LSU (-17.5) @ Washington
Walt Flanagan: What has happened to the Huskies? When this game was set it sounded like a really good intersectional, now it's just a team coming off an 0-12 season (it's 6th losing season in a row) versus a much tastier Corndog (as opposed to 2008). Mustard for everyone...LSU 45 - Washington 17
Morris Fenderbaum: LSU 33 - Washington 17
Mickey Goldmill: LSU wins big. Real big, as in 42 – 14. Corndogs pour mustard on themselves in celebration.
Western Kentucky (+29) @ Tennessee
Walt Flanagan: The Lane Kiffin era begins. If Daddy can keep Lane focused and not distracted by the Hilltopper blobbing on the opposite sideline, UT wins big...Tennessee 35 - WKU 3
Morris Fenderbaum: Tennessee 38 - Western Kentucky 9
Mickey Goldmill: More Snot Bubbles. UTK 35 – WK 7. Everyone in East Tennessee rips off their shirt in celebration.
Ole Miss (-16) @ Memphis
Walt Flanagan: Is this the year that Ole Miss finally figures out their way to Atlanta? No, but they do know how to beat Memphis...Ole Miss 42 - Memphis 21
Morris Fenderbaum: Ole Miss 30 - Memphis 13
Mickey Goldmill: Snead has a big day; the hype grows. UM Rebels 40 – UM Tigers 14
Jackson State (no line) @ Miss. State
Walt Flanagan: New head coach, new helmets, new attitude, same Mississippi State...MSU 27 - Jackson State 3
Morris Fenderbaum: Mississippi State 44 - Jackson State 3
Mickey Goldmill: Dan Mullen gets his first win. It will be one of very few. MSU 30 – JSU 7
Charleston Southern (no line) @ Florida
Walt Flanagan: The defending champs start out the season with a reeeeeeeeeeeeeal challenge. Tebow plays a half, accounts for 4 TDs and 300 yards and then sits out second half praying for CSU's soul...Florida 70 - Charleston Southern 0
Morris Fenderbaum: Florida 66 - Charleston Southern 0
Mickey Goldmill: Tim Tebow breaks the NCAA record for TDs in the first quarter. Then he breaks his fibula in the second. Children in the Philippines weep. Yeah, I said it! UF 56 – CS 0
Missouri State (no line) @ Arkansas
Walt Flanagan: Dark horse SEC West pick led by Dark pig Bobby Petrino goes all H1N1 on Missouri State...Arkansas 49 - Missouri State 10
Morris Fenderbaum: Arkansas 36 - Missouri State 10
Mickey Goldmill: Whooooo pig sooie. Arky 45 – MS 10
Western Carolina (no line) @ Vandy
Walt Flanagan: Can the 'Dores make it 2 bowling seasons in a row? History is not on their side but they get off to a good start here...Vandy 35 - Western Carolina 3
Morris Fenderbaum: Vandy 30 - Western Carolina 6
Mickey Goldmill: Smarts kids handing out snot bubbles. Vandy 38 – WC 7
2 comments:
I know everyone is dying to see my picks for this weekend
If you inferior little redheaded stepchildren would stop paying "middle men" to try and get our program in trouble (by paying for fishing trips and laptops) just so you can hope to level up the playing field, you guys may become relevant once again. The paranoia and inferiority complex is at an all-time high down in Lee County! I don't blame you, I'd fear The University as well if I was unfortunate enough to be in your guys' shoes.
Watch out for the private investigators. They'll be coming for those Aubarn (AL) boosters who promised Harris they'd "get him back for signing with Daddy Alabama". Nice try, but it's about to backfire epically!
What will you guys do when you're slammed with sanctions and are STILL FORCED to compete against Daddy Alabama who will be running at full strength? I think the answer is kill yourselves because the jealous rage and obsession built up inside wouldn't allow you to take it.
Remember 2008. Obsessing endlessly over Alabama and a mythical number 7 led you to a 5-7 season with a blowout you never came close to tasting during your dominance over Alabama during their period of decline. The worse of your obsession gets, the worse off your program gets. Period.
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